Humping in underrated.

I always get questions about self-pleasure. A lot of women who come to me for help seem to have an issue with navigating how to begin a self pleasure journey. They are often plagued with not knowing where to begin, feeling shame surrounding self-centered and self-administered pleasure and feeling a sense of disconnect from the sensations that arise when we touch ourselves.

What's interesting is that most women don't know that self pleasure is one of the most effective ways to heal trauma, increase confidence and become a fully liberated, orgasmic woman.

Self-pleasure is learning, knowing the land of your body so that you can program the GPS system that your lover will use to navigate foreign land.

Self-pleasure is freeing yourself from dependency from that lover that knows how to make you cum, because you know how to make yourself cum. Can you imagine having to wait for someone to make you cum? How inconvenient? How powerless? How much time is wasted waiting on someone else? Trust that we love orgasms with lovers. However, the ability to bring yourself to orgasm or teach your lover a new way to make you climax, is so damn empowering.

You should be getting at least one orgasm a day. Not for any other reason than it being amazing for your health and feeling great. Take this lightly. This is not a - finger in your face, “you need to follow my advice or else” statement. It’s simply a statement rooted in love, in pleasure, in liberation- because you deserve pleasure. You deserve to feel fucking incredible. If sex or orgasms don’t do that for you, by all means; do whatever it is that does, at least, once a day. You feel me?

So, you've always been taught to feel shame, to feel guilty, or dirty for masturbating. Hell, you've been programmed to feel shame for even thinking about masturbating, so, where do you start?

You go back to the basics.

Go back to the young you. The you who was present when you were innocent and exploring pleasure for the first time. Go back to when you would squeeze your legs real tight or grind up against something because it felt good. Not because you wanted penetration. Not because you wanted orgasm. But simply because it felt good.

Start by grinding.
Direct Clitoral stimulation is too intense for some.

However, humping and grinding often brings great pleasure to many.

You can use nothing, your hand, a toy. Whatever you’d like to start exploring. Let this take you wherever you want it to go. It can stop here, you can graduate to exploring with your fingers, putting on a show for your lover… whatever feels right for you.

Know that there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to your pleasure. That is, because it’s all about you. However, if you’re unsure on where to start or how to start… start here.

Take your pleasure seriously.

Really! Do it and see how much you heal and how much liberation you find through it.

  • If you’re still having trouble with this, the healing sexual trauma course will be launching soon .

IN LOVE + PLEASURE,

xA